Can AI replace Vercel?

Build me a git-push deploy pipeline for my own VPS to replace Vercel. Requirements:

- Target: one VPS running Caddy. Each app lives in /srv/apps/<name>/ with a systemd
  service and a Caddyfile entry.
- A bare git repo per app on the VPS with a post-receive hook: check out to
  releases/<timestamp>, run npm ci && npm run build, health-check the new process,
  flip a current symlink, restart the systemd unit. Keep the last 5 releases.
- Deploying is git push vps main; the hook streams build output back to my
  terminal. A failed build or health check leaves the live release untouched.
- rollback <app>: re-point the symlink to the previous release and restart, under
  10 seconds.
- newapp <name> <domain>: scaffolds the bare repo, systemd unit, and Caddy block,
  then reloads Caddy. HTTPS is automatic via Caddy.
- Secrets: each app reads /srv/apps/<name>/shared/.env, symlinked into every
  release, never committed.
- No accounts, no telemetry, no dashboard; logs via journalctl -u <app>.
- Out of scope: per-branch preview deployments, edge/CDN, autoscaling, and a web
  UI. One VPS, main branch only.
- README: server prerequisites, DNS records, and an honest note that I am now the
  platform team, budget time for the first 2am breakage.